Year 10b Monologue Alfonso García A. "Fons"

Another Day Next To My Best Friend

Mmmmmmmm, oh god, I love sleeping. Come on wake up its 11:00am now, you have to wake up…… Are you there? Yes you are always there; you are a gigantic, sloppy, fat mass in front of my 8 pack stomach (yeah sure). Well anyway we have to get up; I am starting to get hungry. Oh god I hate being fat I should have paid attention to that stupid diet I got from internet a long time ago. The first thing written on that healthy food paper was: DO NOT under any circumstances eat FAST FOOD!

Yeah sure they though that a Mc Donald’s fan like me would stop eating those delicious three floor hamburgers. They don’t know me, not even if I got paid! I wouldn’t abandon Mc Donald’s for any reason. Oh god those fast food restaurants drive me crazy, not fat, or do they?

Well lets return to reality, I’m stuck here in my bed, about to piss my pyjamas because I really can’t walk all the way to the bathroom. It’s too far! I mean it is equivalent to asking a teenager to walk from here to Japan. It’s crazy! Just can’t be done. Oh god, it really gets me on my nerves. I won’t stand a day more with this enormous belly, following me everywhere. (From my bed to the kitchen and back again!).

To finish narrating my successful life, I can add that I am another desemployed fat American. Yeah, you don’t believe me, come on. Nobody wants to hire a fat guy who can’t walk from his chair to the rubbish bin! It’s pathetic! I remember the last time I had a job; it was on the year 1982. I wasn’t this fat and I still walked, at least to the bathroom I did. I believe one of my greatest mistakes was to never exercise.

What, I didn’t heard that repeat it! Oh yeah now you are starving? Yeah and I’m supposed to feed you when you never listen to me! I always have to carry this 200 pounds with me everywhere I go. Well any way, I’ve just pissed my pyjamas again, what else can I do? Let’s get up and, hhhhhhmmmmmmmm!!!!!!! God difficult it is. Oh great now I’m speaking like that little green man named Yoda! What else could go wrong?! God I really have to start a diet, maybe later. Now I need to concentrate on eating this big, extra cheese pizza, I asked for last week. Never mind, I have a coke, not to dehydrate and 7 snickers, just in case I’m still hungry!