Yr 10/Monologue/JK

My Story

Hello, most of you might not know of me, this is because I happen to be an ordinary person, just another person who accomplishes its daily routine at work.

I happen to be here to tell you my story, they took me out of work at 7am and dragged me all the way here because Mr. Simon said that my complaint better be terribly good. Ready to hear my version? Ok then, here we go…

It happened three days ago, 21 Jan 2007, I was at my office getting ready for field work and suddenly an urgent call came in, John was shot, apparently local gangsters shot him down. I ran out to the parking lot with the mug of coffee in hand and dragging my jacket as if it were a broom of some kind. I firmly took the keys, left the cup and began trying to put my jacket on as I ran towards the car.

I quickly left the parking lot towards the Bronx. New York is one of the world cities with most traffic; I could barely pass with my entire siren thing going on. That fat guy in front of me was actually sleeping, he didn’t move aside, it took him about 30 seconds to wake up from the noise of my siren and move aside, GOD!

I finally reached the hostile area, there were three other units and an ambulance taking John away to the nearest hospital, there was five of us and only two of them left, they naturally began running away, I chased them, only I ran after them. The four other fatsos couldn’t run they were so fat that their legs were actually one eighth the size of their body; well at least they could shoot!

Those guys knew the neighborhood better than I did so they got away. I (fully depleted) return to were those other “cops” were and asked them, “Why the hell did you not run after them?!” “Oh, it’s because my doctor said that my cholesterol was way too high, so if I did a lot of effort I would probably have a heart attack.” Well, maybe that was because “little” Robert couldn’t resist devouring Mac Donald’s almost every day. You should see inside their cars, the back seats only have empty boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Mac Donald’s and gallons of “Diet” Coke.

The cumbersome corpulence of these guys really affects me, I cannot patrol the streets correctly knowing that my only support is a bunch overblown “cops”. Just seeing them makes me feel completely sick, it looks as if their whole life is based on food, they can barely pass the physical test and have been given several warnings about their magnitude. Come on, I mean can at least someone give me a slim partner?

The obesity of these guys is simply a nuisance that’s why I have been complaining the whole time until finally you guys decide to listen to what my complaint is about, take me out of my “daily” routine and make me sit in front of you to tell you the whole story of why I want you to get me a new partner or get me into SWAT, because I simply can’t work like this, I just can’t. So if you would be very kind by putting my name in the list of those who want to take the exam for SWAT. Now, am I able to go? I gotta go catch the guys who laugh at the police department for recruiting fat policemen to go and arrest them. Thank you lieutenant…